


Girl Talk

by Chariot_to_Somewhere



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2018-12-14 16:16:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11786811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chariot_to_Somewhere/pseuds/Chariot_to_Somewhere
Summary: Woman-to-woman conversations between Shelagh and Trixie became commonplace after the near weekly dinners they had together. As much as Trixie loved living in Nonnatus, she needed to get out from time to time, and spend time with people who'd known her longer than her current roommate and other the other nurses. She'd been working with Shelagh for nearly eight years already, and they'd been close friends since she'd left the order. In the Turner home, she knew that she didn't have to put on the happy girl facade, and wouldn't get away with it if she did. She still wrote to Jenny often, and Jenny had seemed surprised to find that Trixie's closest friend had become the former nun.





	1. Chapter 1

The topics of their conversations ranged from very mild, to the more dishy subjects that neither really felt comfortable talking to anyone else about. It was Shelagh that Trixie spoke with in the weeks leading up to her wedding, worried about her wedding night. Of course Trixie knew what was expected, and also knew that Christopher wouldn't push her. And if he did...well Patrick could probably kill someone and make it look like a medical condition. 

But it was the worry about being with her husband in a more intimate manner than she'd ever willingly done before. And when Trixie first spoke to Shelagh about that, back when she was still courting Tom, she had emphasized the willingly in hopes that Shelagh would pick up on what she meant and wouldn't be asked to elaborate. Shelagh had understood immediately but did not press the issue, instead she offered her friend a hug and an ear to listen should she want one. 

The wedding night worries was the topic one night after dinner when Patrick had been called out, Angela was asleep, and Tim was in his room, and Teddy was the only Turner child in the living room with them and he was nowhere near an age where he'd know what the grown ups were talking about. Trixie didn't have to work the next day and was planning on crashing in the Turner's guest room for the night. 

"Shelagh...your wedding night...was it...good?" Trixie asked almost timidly. She and Shelagh had had previous conversations about marital relations, jokes, whispered comments, but nothing really serious. 

Shelagh was slightly taken aback by the question. 

"It was wonderful." Shelagh said truthfully. "It was not...what I expected."

"What do you mean?" Trixie asked leaning forward towards Shelagh a little bit.

"Well, I know you hear how the women in the clinic talk. If I heard them even as a nun, I'm sure you've heard. But they rarely seemed to talk highly of it." Shelagh explained. 

Trixie nodded in agreement, she had heard more than a few women complain about it or say how they didn't often enjoy it. Many would joke about just laying there.

"Patrick did everything he could to make sure I enjoyed every intimate moment, not just on our wedding night, but before then and still now actually." Shelagh blushed furiously at talking about her intimacies with Patrick. 

Trixie giggled at Shelagh's blush but clamped a hand over her mouth when Teddy made a startled noise from his place in his bassinet sitting near the couch. 

“Before?” Trixie gathered herself and the question was out before she could stop it. “Did you….before you were married?” The idea of Patrick charming the former nun out of her habit and into premarital sex making it hard not to keep laughing. 

“No, we very nearly did once, about two weeks before we married.” Shelagh was sure her cheeks were going to stay red for this entire conversation. “But, he does everything he can to make it pleasurable for me as well.”

"Did it hurt?" Trixie asked. Her mind starting to race with questions now. "Is it alright that I'm asking you these things? I just....I don't have anyone else that I trust enough to ask and I--" 

Shelagh reached out and placed a hand on Trixie's arm. 

"Trix, it's alright. In truth, it's something I wish I had someone other than Patrick to talk to about it. While he is great, it's different having a girl friend to talk to." Shelagh smiled at Trixie. "And no, it didn't hurt. Not really. It was uncomfortable at first. And even now, after more than four years, it can still be if I'm not ready."

"Does he...? When you're not ready?" Trixie looked almost horrified. 

"Not like that!" Shelagh assured her quickly. "Poor word choice I suppose. Patrick has never, and would never. I meant when things move a little faster and I may not be as..." A blush was creeping up her cheeks as she searched for words she could bring herself to say, and Trixie giggled as caught on to where Shelagh was going. 

"This is ridiculous!" Trixie said with exasperation. "We are grown women, we should be able to talk about things like this without giggling and blushing like school girls. After all, men brag about it all the time!" 

Shelagh laughed and agreed. "But it's not something I'm used to talking to anyone but Patrick about. And really, I don't want you to think any different of me for what could come about in this conversation."

"What could you say that would make me change how I think of you? You are my very best friend Shelagh. And this line of conversation will not change that." It was Trixie's turn to lay a hand on her friend's arm. "In fact, it might make me love you even more!" She joked. 

Shelagh laughed and reached out to her tea cup to hide her blush behind. 

"Then fire away dear." She said setting her cup back down. 

"What if I don't....what if I can't......please him? I know my reputation, but it's not based on any truth. I've never even so much as put my hand anywhere near a man's trouser area." Trixie admitted. "And he's been married before, and has a child, so obviously he has experience that I don't have." 

"I worried about the same thing when I married Patrick. How could I live up to his first wife? Would I be any good for him that department. And he made sure that those thoughts stopped very quickly. I can't speak for Christopher, I can only say that he doesn't seem like the type of man who would compare you to his first wife." Shelagh was finding the words coming out easier. "And from my experience, men aren't terribly difficult to please in that department." 

Trixie looked absolutely shocked and Shelagh burst out laughing at the look on her friend's face. 

“How did you you know what to do?” 

“A lot talking with Patrick. Obviously, we know the mechanics, what goes where. But he spent a lot of time…...learning what I like, and in that helped me figure out what he likes. We’re still learning each other.” Shelagh was getting more comfortable with her answers, she knew Trixie wouldn’t tell anyone anything said in confidence. “Ask Christopher. Talk to him about it, he doesn’t seem like the kind of man who’d shy away from that conversation with you.” 

Trixie smiled at Shelagh, “He’s not shied away from any conversation we’ve had. Even when I told him about my past.” Trixie looked at her hands before going on. “And he does make sure that I want him to do everything we’ve done so far. Which hasn’t involved anything without clothes.” She classified with a wink. 

“Well there are many things that can be done while fully clothed.” Shelagh winked back and giggled.

Their conversation continued for nearly half an hour longer, before Angela woke up from her nap and didn’t want to be alone in her room. The little girl came into the living room and climbed onto the couch and then onto Shelagh’s lap. 

“Hi Auntie Trixie.” Angela said with sleepiness in her voice as she snuggled into her mummy. 

“Hello sweet girl!” Trixie smiled. “Your mummy and I are having some tea and a girl-talk. Do you want to join us?”

Angela nodded her head happily. 

“I think a change of topic might be needed since we have little ears with us now.” Trixie laughed as she stood up. “I’ll get her a cup and a snack?” Not waiting for an answer, Trixie made her way to the kitchen. 

Trixie made her way around the kitchen she’d come to know as well as her own and smiled. Being able to talk with Shelagh had quelled her fears quite a lot, and gave her much to talk to Christopher about.


	2. Anxiety

Everything in life seemed perfect. Her miracle boy was sleeping on her chest, her daughter sitting at her small table coloring, Timothy off at school, and Patrick at work. She had everything she had ever hoped for, and more. But there was an uneasiness settling itself in her stomach.   
She knew that nothing was perfect, and anything that seemed so would soon be shattered. 

Her engagement with Patrick was marked with Tim's poor health. The beginning of their marriage and finding out that she would more than likely never be able to carry a child. Leading up to Angela's adoption, she and Patrick were at odds with each other. And the threat of miscarriage loomed over her entire pregnancy. The fear of something happening now, when everything was so great, kept pulling at her. Some days she was almost afraid to even just put Teddy in his bassinet because in her arms, she knew he was still breathing. 

Nothing from Teddy's clinic visits made her think anything was amiss with her boy's health. But she was still terrified. She'd seen more than her share of cradle death. What was stopping that from affecting her family?

Shelagh sighed, she knew that sitting home, wallowing in the anxiety coursing through her was not going to help. Patrick had the car for work and she didn't feel like walking all the way out to Poplar. So going to the phone she rang Nonnatus hoping that someone would be available to come keep her company and keep her mind of the swirling dark thoughts. 

The phone was answered by Sister Winifred who gladly told her that Trixie had a half day and had just returned from her last home visit. Sister Winifred passed the receiver to Trixie who was more than happy to go out to visit Shelagh, and get some baby cuddles too. 

When Trixie arrived, Shelagh had tea already made and waiting for her. Angela had been put down for a nap, but Teddy was wide awake in his mother's arms. 

"Hello gorgeous boy." Trixie said to Teddy, reaching out to stroke the baby's cheek. "Come to your Auntie Trixie and maybe you can tell me why your mummy looks so glum." Shelagh relinquished her hold on Teddy and settled him in Trixie's arms. 

"I'm not sure he'll be much help on that front, and his mummy isn't even sure why she's so down." Shelagh said truthfully, leading Trixie into the sitting room where tea was waiting. 

They both sat on the couch angled towards each other, Trixie played with Teddy's fingers, and Shelagh studied her own. 

"What's going on Shelagh? You're not one to let much of anything sour your disposition." Trixie asked worriedly, but still paying more attention to Teddy. 

It was how they worked, how their friendship worked. Neither were really good at talking to people about hard things without something else to distract them. Having someone else's full attention made both women shy away from hard conversations for not wanting to hurt, scare, or disappoint the person they were speaking with. And they both had a very small list of people they would talk to about such things. 

"I don't really even know. I'm afraid, I know that. But of nothing in particular. Just more a feeling of trepidation, of something coming but I don't know what." Shelagh said quietly, beginning to pick at the skin around her nails. "Nothing ever stays perfect."

"Of course it doesn't." Trixie said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And if it did we'd all take for granted the wonderful things we have. Like this little miracle here." Trixie lifted Teddy up and sat him on her lap so he was facing Shelagh. Teddy let out a happy squeal at the new position, getting to see his mummy but still play with his Auntie Trixie.   
Shelagh smiled at her little boy and reached out to take one of his chubby little hands in hers. 

"I'm just so afraid something is going to happen to him, or that I'm going to wake up and the past year will have been a dream. And I'll have a letter with negative results to a pregnancy test in my hands instead." Tears filled Shelagh's eyes and she brought a hand up to wipe them. "I know it's silly."

"It is not silly if it's affecting you like this." Trixie told her friend fiercely. "Have you talked to Patrick about it?

"I don't want to worry him." Shelagh said quietly. 

"Well, now that's silly. He's your husband and he loves you. He'd want to know."

"Trixie Franklin, when did you get so wise?" Shelagh let out a short laugh.

"I'd blame it on our many conversations, Shelagh Turner." Trixie shot back. "But seriously, if you go around being afraid of everything, you're not going to be able to live. You'll survive, but that's not living."


End file.
